About Me

Hello I was anorexic at 12 and hospitialized at 14 and was "recovered" until 2006 where I went from 250lbs to 119 in 9 months, I then  "recovered" again but it was not in a healthy way at all, I began to binge like mad, I am unable to "purge" I am horrified of it so I am a big fat pig again.  I crave to see my bones again more than ever. 

Me at my lowest weight as an adult

I do not want to start off sounding mean, but this is NOT a lifestyle. I am sick this is an illness not a choice for me. If you have not thrown yourself into this to far please turn back! It will kill you; you do not want to die. Sleepless nights, blood in your bowel movements from laxatives, pains from your butt bone that you can not sit for very long without a donut pillow and 3 cushions in the bathtub to just sit in the tub. If you are overweight there are 100's of places that are great for helping you step by step to lose weight safe and keep it off. I do not mean to preach it's just when I get emails of girls wanting to be like me and ask how I did it something in me well; it just snaps something deep inside me.

The little voice I silence in my head of reason, it screams out tell them to run the other way and never look back. I just do not want anyone to go through this hell, this uncontrollable desire to be deathly thin. It consumes you until you do not realize you are to far gone to come back at least without any scares from your journey. Please do not take this the wrong way. I have this page as a personal therapy and to share with others who are in the same place as me to talk things out. 

It is not my intentions for this to ever encourage anyone to do this on purpose to themselves.