So hard but I will be good

I just lost 2 of my fur kids, they died within a week of one another. I lost my job and was out of work for 2 months, so I am slowly getting myself together again.  But I had the very bad habit of drinking the pain away and them bingeing on junk. 
It was a habit and it is so hard to break!  I am fighting the urge.  I guess I will blog here and go read some others inspiring words to keep strong.  I am so fat again, why did I let meyself get this gross again?